A Man Called Dr Cockroach
by doofenshmirtzevilincemployee
Summary: Dr. Cockroach once gave himself the cockroach's ability to survive. And ended up with the head of those he took the ability from. Now he's built something to give him his human form back. But, like last time, he may get more than he bargained for…
1. Chapter 1

**PLEASE READ! IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND STORY!**

**Ello, my friends! Well… I don't really know any of you. At all. So just… deal with you calling you my friends, okay? It makes me feel happy.**

**Okay. So, here, our favorite mad scientist (certainly mine – I like his laugh. "MWUAHAHAHAHAHA! …Sorry.") has built a machine to turn him human again.**

**Something you all must know:**

**Dr. Cockroach has already built something for Susan to become normal-sized or giant-sized as she wishes. It's a ring, which fits on her pinky finger when she's Ginormica, but when she shrinks to human size, it becomes a necklace. When she's human-sized, the Quantonium is stored in a small crystal that glows blue-green, indicating the presence of the Quantonium. When she's Ginormica, the crystal is white.**

**You won't see her as Ginormica in this story, however. Just all human-sized. I needed to explain this, 'cuz I feel like some of y'all might get confused.**

**Also, I'm sticking with the name Insectosaurus instead of Butterflyosaurus. Insectosaurus fits the big bug much better.**

**Also, I KNOW the president promised them freedom. He's kept his word, but they're still at Area 5*, because General Monger is currently looking for a place big enough for Insectosaurus to live. Even though it doesn't say in the chapter.**

**Alright, enough with my endless blathering. Onwards to the story.**

**You want a disclaimer? See my profile.**

**And this is my first Monsters Vs. Aliens story I didn't decide to trash.**

"Will it work?" asked Susan anxiously. She was fingering a necklace, which was (predictably) around her neck. Dr. Cockroach PhD had made it for her nearly a month ago. On the end of it hung a tiny, blue-green crystal.

This necklace held the ability to absorb the Quantonium in her body, or return it, enabling her to grow and shrink at her will. All she had to do was mentally ask, and she could become Ginormica or Susan at a moment's notice.

At this time, she was the size of a normal human being. Which meant it was not the necklace she was asking about…

It was the giant, cylindrical chamber in front of her.

The person whom she was speaking to was none other than the creator of the machine, Dr. Cockroach himself. "It _should_ work. If it does not, the most likely outcome is my being worse off than I was, or death." When Susan looked alarmed, the doctor quickly tried to gloss over his mistake. "But of course," he said hurriedly, "the chances of that happening are quite slim, my dear."

Susan bit her lip. "Okay," she said reluctantly. Behind her, Link and B.O.B. gave Dr. Cockroach the "thumbs up".

Peering through the door with one huge eye, Insectosaurus gave a roar of approval.

Dr. Cockroach nodded once, resisting the temptation to laugh maniacally (it would only scare Susan), and stepped into the chamber. Once inside, he pressed a small button on the right side, and the door swung closed in front of him.

The next thing he felt was considerable pain. It felt like every single atom was being ripped from his body and then being stuffed brusquely back into place again. The sensation lasted approximately 2.3 seconds before coming to an abrupt halt. The door opened on its own accord, and the doctor stumbled out, managing to catch himself before he fell.

Dr. Cockroach straightened up and looked at Susan, who had backed into a wall. Her eyes shone with tears and she had he hand covering her mouth. "Well?" he asked her.

Susan just shook her head, unable to speak.

"What? What is it?" he urged. The doctor turned to B.O.B. and Link, who were gaping at him open-mouthed. Silently, Link just pointed at a mirror that was across the room.

Fearing the worst, Dr. Cockroach slowly moved toward the mirror. As he neared it, he closed his eyes and walked the final steps. Then he opened them.

His mouth dropped open. He tried to scream.

No sound came out.

**! …Sorry.**

**For all you humans know, I've just turned him into a cockroach/stink bug/Japanese beetle! I haven't, of course. I don't even know what he would look like. Hm…**

**Oh, wow. I just realized what a short chapter this is. It's barely a full page. Maybe the next one will be longer…**

**So, anyway, what did you think? You likey? You not likey? TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME! I need to know! If you so desire, I can concoct a second chapter. Possibly a third. Or I can leave the story like this… to make YOU decide what happens to him…**

**But I sort of want to post the other chappie(s). I already made the second. And I'm in the middle of revising it for posting.**

**And I've thought of an idea for a sequel! Gosh... I've got to stop planning ahead... XD**

**So… just tell me what you think. :D**

**When (and if, though hopefully there isn't an "if") you review, answer me these four questions:**

**Do you support Dr. CXSusan? Or at least don't mind it? (Just a question. I'm not saying that there's gonna be any, but I'm not saying there won't be :D)**

**What are two things you like best about Doc?**

**What do you WANT to happen to him?**

**What do you THINK will happen to him?**

**If you get the fourth question somewhat close to what actually does happen to him, then I'll give you digital brownies. Or cookies. And you will earn my respect for being able to see into my braaaaaaiiiinnnn… O.o**

**Stay tuned for the next chapter. I'm off to ignore you all now.**

**Please review.**

**Press that little button…**

**Right…**

**Down…**

**There.**


	2. Chapter 2

**You know, I'm a very happy soul right now. Five people have reviewed, and they've made me happy by doing so… You guys rock. :D**

**So, shout-out time!**

**TheBrainOfJayum: Aw, thanks! Bummer you don't support the pairing… he was totally crushin' on her in the movie. You could tell. :D Sorry, there'll be a bit (well, a lot) of the pairing in this story. Oh, come on! I don't think you're nuts… I used to, also. Matter of fact, I kinda still do. XD You'll get your wish, all right. And no biggie that you can't think of what might happen. That's why you're reading this!**

**NattyMc: Well, wonder no longer! And thanks!**

**RedHatMeg: Sorry about the shortness. And no, the necklace idea was not mine. I borrowed the concept from someone… I don't remember who, though. I claim no rights to the necklace idea! :D**

**WordNerb93: It was short, wasn't it? :C But anyway, glad you don't mind the pairing. It'll show up in this chapter. And he is quite intelligent, isn't he? He's really nice, too. And you know what? You've just received… DIGITAL BROWNIES! :D**

**Cuffy Meigs: This is true, but I've always thought that she'd want to stay, because, you know, they're her friends, and she dumped Derek on national TV (which I thought was pretty awesome). So, she'll be staying… but you do have a valid point. :D**

**Okay. Now, you wanna find out what happens to Dr. Cockroach? Of course you do. That's why you're reading this, right?**

**So, let's go onwards to the story. This chappie is just a bit longer than the last one, so sorry. I promise the next one will be fairly large! :D**

* * *

He blinked. Blinked again. He blinked once more just to make sure that what he was seeing was real.

It was.

Slowly, Dr. Cockroach raised a trembling hand to his face. His face… As he touched it, he could feel the slightly soft texture of flesh. Skin. And on top of his head was a rather handsome cut of black hair. He still had his mustache, too. And he looked not a day older than twenty-five…

A grin formed on his face – his remarkably _human_ face. "It worked!" Dr. Cockroach laughed, an insanely happy laugh that proved that he was still the same old mad scientist they knew.

Dr. Cockroach whirled around and beamed at the others. Every one of them was in the exact same position they were before. His grin faded a little. "What's the matter?" he asked.

B.O.B. was the first to break the silence. "Hey, where's the doctor? I only see this guy."

"I _think_," Link said, having regained control of his voice, "that this _is_ the doctor."

"Oh my gosh…" said a small voice next to Dr. Cockroach. The doctor turned around to face Susan, who still had tears shining in her eyes. "Doc, I'm so proud of you…"

The doctor's heart swelled with pride. She was proud of him… Of _him_… But as Susan beamed up at him, looking into his amber eyes and he into her sky-blue ones, he couldn't help but notice a tear roll down her face.

Without thinking, Dr. Cockroach raised a hand and wiped it away. "My dear," he said softly, "why are you crying?"

"It's just… you aren't a monster anymore," she mumbled, looking away from him. "They'll make you leave…"

"Nonsense, my dear. I'm still as monster as ever. I can still climb walls, and I will still have an unusual appetite for the morning paper rather than the bacon." He smiled, and continued. "The only downside is that, if you were to step on me as Ginormica, there would be a me-sized smear on the ground."

Susan laughed, and he joined in. The room rang with her laughter. And then the doctor did something he thought he would never, ever do.

I'm quite positive that many of you have felt the emotion, in which you are so incredibly giddy, so pleased by your accomplishment, that you feel as though you might kiss someone, yes? This emotion is _precisely_ what the doctor felt. Only… on a much greater scale. So great, in fact, that he acted on the urge.

It lasted 2.7 seconds. Then Dr. Cockroach's eyelids fluttered, and snapped open. His amber eyes went wide as he realized exactly what he was doing, and he swiftly stepped away from Susan, who was rooted to the spot. Dr. Cockroach had now turned a rather interesting shade of pink.

"Um…" He looked down and scratched the back of his neck embarrassedly. He was vividly aware of both Link and Susan staring at him.

Suddenly, Insectosaurus roared. Link's expression of astonishment turned to a sour one. "Ugh," he groaned. "Alright!" he told Insectosaurus, who had roared again. "I'll get your twenty bucks!"

Dr. Cockroach blinked at him, confused.

"Me and Insecto made a bet about whether or not you'd make a move," explained Link with boredom dripping in his voice. He still looked unhappy.

"Wha – What? _Make a move?_" sputtered the doctor, going red again.

"Well, duh," said Link, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "We know you've had a crush on Ginormica for ages."

"_What?_ No, I haven't!"

Link rolled his eyes. "Dude, it was totally obvious."

"There was nothing to be obvious about!" Dr. Cockroach insisted. "I do _not_ have a crush on Susan!"

"Oh, yeah? I can prove it. Susan, go kiss the Doc."

"_What?_" Dr. Cockroach gaped at Link. He was still blushing, he could tell – and he knew that Susan could see it, too. "R-really, Link, there's n-no n-need for that!"

Link smirked. "You see?" he said to Susan.

"_There's nothing to see!"_ the doctor snapped. He turned around, his hands shoved in his pockets. "I'm going for a walk," he said shortly. Dr. Cockroach walked past Link and Susan, past B.O.B. (who had lost interest in their conversation a while ago, and was now using his eye as a bouncy ball), and out the door.

* * *

**Ooh, coolness! What will happen? How will Susan feel? Why am I asking questions I obviously know the answer to? Find out next chapter!**

**Yeah, Link and Insectosaurus made a bet. I figured they might do something like that, though I've got no idea how Link's gonna get twenty bucks…**

**So, WordNerb93… you have received digital brownies! Congrats on being able to guess! *sets plate of brownies in front of WordNerb93***

**Review! It makes me happy! As happy as a two… happy things… can be, I guess. :D**

**REVIEW!**


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